I was debating on whether or not I was going to write about this because I just do not have a way with words. I'm not sure if I could ever get across what I feel, but I thought I would just try :)
As many know, my mom had a right brain stroke in March. It's still strange to even type that. I guess at times there is still some disbelief about the whole situation. My mom has been so strong through this all and has taught me a lot by dealing with the many many changes that have come her way over the past four months. I have learned how much my mom did for all of us and appreciate her even more. I will never ever forget the night Kev and I went to Memphis to see her in the hospital... (I am in Nursing School and I had clinicals every week at the hospital taking care of cardiac patients and meeting their familes, but never really connecting with them on a deep level. After leaving their room, most times I would never think twice about how each person's life in there was being affected and just how surreal health issues can be. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't mean to them nor did I neglect talking to them, getting to know them, or serving them but it was just different...)
In the hospital that night after walking down the longest hallway in the world and while being told what was actually going on, I peeked past the curtain in the ER. I look at my mom, and I was overwhelmed. I remember going into Kevin's arms and then wanting to sit on the floor and cry. I hate crying. I hate crying in public. I hate when I start the ugly cry in public. I hate when I start the ugly cry in public accompanied with sounds. All of which happened. My grandmothers came and hugged me, and my Mimi told me that I had to be strong for her and to go in and see her. So I gathered myself and walked in to talk to her. From then on was a whirl wind. Three or four more trips to the hospital due to another stroke and multiple seizures. Never did I think that I would walk into a hospital and someone in my family be the patient. Our family was just fine. We were healthy, two in school, one married, one engaged, working, and happy. Nothing bad or horrific happens to us. At least not now, not yet... But God had different plans and they certainly weren't what I expected. Every doctor says it is amazing how well she is doing and just how lucky she is to be alive. She always responds with how gracious God is and how much mercy He has. She is still faced with certain things, but she is taking it one day at a time and all I can say is that I'm so proud of my mom! She is truly a God fearing woman who loves the Lord. I love "My Little Mommy" as I always call her.
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My dad has been the most gracious and selfless person through this. He has taught us so much even in mine and Kevin's own marriage. He is the hardest worker and the busiest person. If he's not at the church working, then he is fixing someone's air conditioner, taking necessities to families in Galloway, or off on a mission trip. I'm sure there are even more unmentioned things that no one even knows that he does. He has been so strong and keeps us laughing through it all! (Even when the cost is busting on the hardwood floors when he slides all the way across the kitchen). I love my dad and couldn't be more proud to call him my pops!
I have learned so much through this all and I'm still learning so much. I'm learning to take this into my marriage, my friendships, and my clinicals. I'm thankful for the life I have been given. I'm not promised tomorrow but through God's mercy I am promised an eternity in heaven with my Savior.
These are two verses that I have really come to appreciate these past few weeks for many reasons:
Psalm 90:12 - "So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."
Psalm 90:14 - "Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days."
